Saturday, September 12, 2009

Lay off me I'm starving!!!


Before I start this post, I need to add a couple of disclaimers: although I love eating out, trying new kinds of food, thinking about food, dreaming about food, making food, watching food network and writing about food, I am in no way qualified as a food critic. I do not even necessarily consider myself much of a connoisseur of food. I could not eat some delectable dish and correctly identify four out of the five native and/or non-native ingredients. And I do not know what goes good with coriander. I do, however, particularly like Mexican food and have tried my fair share of local Mexican cuisine, which brings me to disclaimer number two. This is not an all-inclusive list of all the local “south-of-the-border”-style dining establishments. Such a list would take too long and it’s Saturday night and my wife and I rented from Redbox….sorry to disappoint.

Here is a short list of some of my faves and least faves. Let’s start with a least fave: Living in Utah County, I could potentially be hung for this. In some circles my opinion in this matter could get me excommunicated on grounds of heresy. At the risk of total alienation from my family, friends, and classmates, I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Los Hermanos might actually be the worst Mexican food restaurant in the valley. I do not mean this to be offensive, but if I want a Lynn Wilson quality burrito I don’t need to pay somebody a tip to bring it to me, I can work a microwave just as good as they can. The atmosphere I will admit is not half bad (I’m throwing a bone to all you poor saps who thought it would be a romantic place to “pop the question”). The lines, however, are totally unsubstantiated other than they might be proof that we BYU students are truly not as adventurous and creative as we like to think we are. The most authentic thing about the place is the wall of foreign currency, although this points even further to our ignorance and naiveté (news flash Los Hermanos….just because a country speaks Spanish and lies south of the United States does not mean that they eat Mexican food…or even spicy food for that matter. I served a mission in Nicaragua and somehow the spice trade routes that Columbus was so desperately searching for missed that country by a 1200 miles or so.) I could go on but you get the point, Los Hermanos is Bush League…that goes for you too Joe Veras!

It has been my long standing opinion that a good Mexican restaurant is only as good as it’s Carne Asada. Las Tarascas in my opinion gets this right. It may not be the crowning jewel of Provo cuisine but it is certainly one of my favorite spots. For those of you who don’t know where this is it shares a strip mall with Albertsons, west of “the diagonal”. If you are looking for a quaint authentic atmosphere, do not touch this place with a ten foot pole; but if you are looking for really good Mexican food and a great salsa bar at reasonable prices be sure to tell them Jared sent you.

To keep from boring my audience the rest of the places on my list get to share one paragraph. We all know if you want “Fresh-Mex” or “Tex-Mex” or whatever the lame made up term they are using now-a-days is, you go with Café Rio (my wife actually made me say that, I personally like Costa Vida [their medium sauce is succulent…I would bathe in it]). If you want a lot of pretty dang good food for cheap and you are just coming out of the canyon after a long day of skiing, you have to go to Mama Chus on 8th North in Orem. Tacos? Try the little taco shop in the Amaco gas station on state street as you go up the hill into Orem (no that is not a joke, this place is legit). Really good salsa, try Tacos Guanajuatos in the parking lot by Movies 8 (not the one on 8th north and state street in Provo I have never been there and it looks like it could be contaminated). And lastly if you want amazing enchiladas like the ones that you used to be able to get at Rosa’s on bulldog (may it rest in peace), well I am sorry to say you are going to have to go to Mexico for that…

12 comments:

  1. Thanks! Now I know what to get you for Christmas...a tub of Cost Vida medium sauce! (Please post pics.)

    How is it that I have lived in Utah County for over 20 years, and I've never visited its crowning jewel? Thank you so much King-of-Utah-County-Cuisine! We'll tell 'em Jared sent us.

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  2. I just want to know what people are ordering when they go to los hermanos, I think that they just have the tshirt and think that they have an "in" with the owners so they keep going back. The food is not good! my opinion on the best Mexican restaurant is Don Pedros in mesquite. So good! (Sorry Utah County)

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  3. Ok. I officially laughed out loud atleast 4 times while reading this post. That may be a record for blog laughs for me. Scott and I looove Mama Chu's! Remember when we ate there after that sweet snowboarding trip we went on together? I'll never forget that...no not the food, the way my body felt that day. Anywho, thanks for the entertaining post and long time no see a comment from good ol' Kathy! You're back yay Kathy!

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  4. Oh my gosh,I love your blog. How funny are your posts?

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  5. You are crazy. Really, no mention of Dirty D's. (AKA..Diego's)When that fine dining establishment burnt to the ground Mike and I had a candlelight vigil for weeks. Any place that serves lengua is authentic!! I hear they reopened over by Smith's in Provo. Need to go over still and check it out. And thank you...THANKYOU... for agreeing with me on Los Hermanos. Seriously people, canned chicken??? SIC..RIP Rosas.

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  6. Who popped the question at los hermanos?

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  7. What if I want 'authentic mexican food'? You know, that kind that gives me worms. Where can I get that?

    I was thinkin' CPK. Is that mexican?

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  8. Oh come on now, there was only "1" really long hair in our salsa at Los Hermanos.

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  9. Even to hear the name Rosas brings tears. Now their green salsa I would bathe in along with a Costco size bag of tortilla chips. I would have to agree with my wife, Dirtdy D's was the best I've had in Utah County. When I would see the penciled sign "Menudo Fresco" Diego was in a good mood.

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  10. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who thinks Los Hermanos is overrated. Fun blog! Keep em' coming!

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  11. Jared you have wit and humor. This pleases me. I will not fall asleep reading your lines. I must agree with you about two claims: Los is gross and Rio is a "Tex Mex" taste; however, when your pregnant wife craves it, authentic taste isn't a consideration. This claim may misinform others as to my understanding of true authentic Mexican flavors, but I must ask have you ever made the journey to the Ute taco stand in down town Salt Lake? My friends took me there long ago and I must admit it looks contaminated, but I am still alive with no stories to tell of it except it was gooooooddddd! Let me know. Peace out.

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  12. Mama Chus isn't even the best Mexiraunt (patent pending for that new word) on 8th North in Orem. Maria Bonita's is delish (or delicios for those of you that habla español). Where else can you purchase a single meal that could feed a small army of Zapatistas? Plus, the head waitress will hug you and be your BFF ( or ASP ...Amigo/a Para Siempre) if you speak to her in Spanish.

    Also, I hear that Beto's is good if you are wrapping up with a Blitz tournament or trash tipping and it's 2:30am. It's even better if you don't care what the food you are eating tastes like.

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