Throw-up anybody? I got 146 bottles in the garage

What is it about our culture that makes us so intrigued by multi-level marketing companies? Take one drive down I-15 and you will be bombarded with billboards advertising the next big pre-pre-launch and if you get in now, you will be number 112 in the company, but if you wait until tomorrow you will only be eligible for the pre-launch and so you will be distributor number 111,843. Nevertheless, don’t be worried because at the actual launch three years from now, you will still have 8,443,608,119 people in your down line who tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and so on, and so on.

Billboards? Is that not exactly counter to what the whole MLM approach is anyway? I thought the whole justification was that rather than spending millions of dollars a year on advertising, like those evil corporations do, you spread that out among thousands of distributors. Could somebody please enlighten me on this?

As somebody who has tried it twice and failed, I am definitely not the person to talk to if you are thinking about taking the plunge, but for what it is worth, I found out what it takes to create one of these models that ensures success. Step 1) make a magic juice…the more it tastes like throw-up the more likely you are to convince people it is good for them. Step 2) invite your friends over for dinner and start drawing triangles on a white board. Step 3) repeat as necessary.

I have come to the conclusion that there are two types of products in the world, (I really don’t believe this, I know that some MLM products are legit and really do help people, I just think it’s funny to blast them) good products and not so good products. Luckily, there is a pretty sure-fire way to tell these two types of products apart. Good products are sold at Costco, and bad products are sold on “autoship”.

WARNING! Bad products are also sold on TV. I know for a fact if you do not already own the Sham Wow you want one so bad. Every time you see that commercial, you want to pony up the dough and get one. Take it from someone who had to learn this the hard way: save yourself some time and money and pass. Or better yet, if you are still not convinced, go cut a piece off of an old felt blanket and try to sop something up with it…it’s pretty much the same thing. I know what you are thinking: “don’t they sell the Sham Wow at Costco?”…yes they do, but in Costco’s defense it is not their fault, Vince is just that good. Every time I see that dang commercial I seriously think to myself “oh, my gosh, maybe it does actually work” and then I pull them out again and sure enough…they still suck!